


I know you've suffered

by Lastavica



Series: The Days Ahead [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Canon Compliant, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint Barton's Farm, Clint finally loses it, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Fear, Gen, Healing, Home, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Laura Barton is wonderful, Love, One Shot, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Starting Over, Trust, traumatized Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27889684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lastavica/pseuds/Lastavica
Summary: But I don't want you to hide.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Laura Barton
Series: The Days Ahead [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192214
Kudos: 11





	I know you've suffered

Laura opened her eyes to the faint light behind the curtains. Morning was coming. Something felt off so she sat up. Clint wasn't in bed beside her. She looked around their room. He wasn't there either so she got up. Stepping into the hall, she found him asleep on the floor in front of Lila's door. Lightly, she touched his shoulder. He awoke and scrambled up onto an elbow, but relaxed as soon as he saw her.

"Laura?" He rasped.

"Do you know where you are?" She whispered.

He looked around the dim hallway, swallowed and then nodded.

"Come on. The kids are asleep." She said as she offered him a hand.

He followed her back to their room. When she climbed into bed she saw he was still standing near the door.

"Clint."

His eyes were fixed on the floor and he stood like it didn't feel right to be there. Laura got back up and came beside him.

"Clint" she repeated.

Again he said nothing, so she took his hand. His breathing was shallow and his eyes shot to her face as soon as her other hand touched his arm. It was like he'd forgotten where he was between the hall and their room.

"Clint, it's me." She said gently.

"I'm sorry."

"Tell me what happened."

"I..." He drew a breath and looked around the room. "I was afraid."

"Of what?"

His eyes met hers, but immediately looked away. He dropped her hand and made for the bathroom. Laura watched the door shut. The lock clicked and she let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. The sink went on and then off and he didn't come back out. This wasn't Laura's first experience with her husband having to process a horror. Still, this had been something beyond imagination and so intangible to her. Letting him be for the time being, she took a deep breath and headed downstairs.

The oven clock read 5:30am so she put the coffee on. While the pot slowly filled she went and stood in the window. Outside in the pale dawn a few deer were grazing. The stairs creaked. Seconds later she felt Clint's arms come around her waist and his chin rest on her shoulder. Neither of them spoke. Laura closed her eyes and breathed in the smell of him. It was the same as it had always been and she was grateful for that.

The coffee maker beeped to signal a full pot.

"You want a cup?" she asked quietly.

He shook his head. When she moved to go he didn't budge.

"Please don't leave me."

Without hesitation Laura turned around. Again he looked away.

"Clint. Look at me."

He wouldn't, so she took his face between her hands and gently made him.

"I need you to talk to me."

His grey blue eyes were pools of pain. His breath came out in a shudder. Without warning he pressed himself against her and buried his face in her chest. It was so fast that her hands were still up where they'd been cupping his face. Recovering quickly, she wrapped him tightly in her arms.

"I'm here."

A shuddered inhale. Then one, two ragged sobs until that's all there were. Vaguely she feared he would wake the kids, but couldn't bother with the thought. She rubbed circles on his back and brushed her hand gently through his hair. His tears were soaking through her shirt. The sounds coming out of him made her want to cry, but she kept it together.

"Clint." She wanted to tell him it was ok, but it wasn't and he didn't need platitudes.

"This hurts." Her voice was quiet . "You suffered alone for a long time. You have to heal and I'm not leaving."

He lifted his head from where he'd been trying to hide against her and rested it on her shoulder. She kissed the side of his face. His sobs began quieting to shuddering breaths until he was just silently clinging to his wife. She rocked gently with him back and forth.

"I'm not ashamed of you. I'm not afraid of you and I don't want you to hide."

She felt a nod and held him there a little longer. Then, she pulled away until he was looking in her eyes. Her hand found his.

"I'm gonna get coffee."

He nodded again. She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze.

Clint was still standing by the window when she returned. With a steaming mug in each hand, Laura motioned to the front door. They went out and sat on the steps. The deer bounded away. The first gleam of sun was cutting through the treeline. Laura put a mug in Clint's hands. She didn't really expect him to drink it, but it was real and it was hot. After a few sips of her own she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Thank you for being here when we woke up." She said it so softly.

A sort of half laugh half sob escaped his chest. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek against her hair.

Inside, someone's feet thundered down the stairs. Even after so long, Clint knew the morning sounds of his youngest. He was getting used to it all again, the rhythms of his family.

As he watched the sun rise he knew Nate was probably up on the counter getting a bowl out of the cupboard. He knew if he listened carefully he would hear the slam of the refrigerator and clinking of a spoon.

He knew if he held on tightly he would learn to trust the permanence of home again.

Clint took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

Laura held his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> *Title and summary are a lyric from the song "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse. "I know you've suffered but I don't want you to hide." That line gets me!


End file.
